Annual, Obligatory, Pre-Thanksgiving Gratitude Post (with a Twist)

The Annual, Obligatory, Pre-Thanksgiving Gratitude Post (with a Twist)

Nearly every year, for almost two decades, I’ve written a post about gratitude in November. Generally, the posts have focused on donors. So, this year, I thought I would focus on you.

If you wish to revisit some of those prior posts, because you want some ideas and inspiration regarding stewardship, I recommend these two:

The Link Between Gratitude and Happiness is Profound

This year, the morning after a fraught Election Day, while the world feels like it’s on fire, I thought I’d write about the importance of taking care of yourself. That is, giving yourself grace and finding strength in what you have, rather than focusing on what you don’t.

You might be surprised to learn (or be reminded) that there is a strong link between gratitude and happiness. It turns out that there is an important body of research showing that when you express gratitude towards others, your happiness increases!

And the research supports this

A popular and well-cited research study by Martin Selligman showed that people who wrote thank-you letters reported a significant increase in their own happiness. (That’s good news for you who have lots of thank you notes to write as part of your job.).

Instead of defaulting to your standard, thank-you-letter template, try to come up with a few reasons and sentences about why you are genuinely grateful to each donor. The more specific you can be, the better. The research shows that writing specific, thoughtful thank you letters will be good for you — not only for your donors.

Here’s a useful gratitude letter template to get started.

Gratitude Is a Practice, Not a Personality Trait

There is an ever-growing body of research around the practicing gratitude. It has been shown repeatedly that writing down just a few sentences every day about what you are grateful for will shift your outlook and your attitude. Instead of seeing the negative (and feeling lousy), you start to see the positive and feel better about yourself and the world around you.

It’s just like when you think about buying a car (or recently bought a car). Suddenly, you see that type of car everywhere. The cars were always there, but you never noticed them before.

Start from your center

When getting started, it might be hard to find things to be grateful for, especially if you’re out of practice or feeling very negative about yourself, your job, and the world. My suggestion? Start with the things that are closest to you.

For example, I’m grateful for my health.

While I’ve found that the number of pills I take and the number of doctor visits I need to schedule has steadily increased over the last few years, overall, my health is good. And for that, I’m exceptionally grateful.

Since turning fifty, I’ve gotten much more active. I’ve never been much of an exerciser, but as I pass the midway point (okay, more than midway) I’ve paid much closer attention to my body and my health.

Find something to celebrate

In the last few years, I’ve run several 5k races each year, striving to beat my personal best (and not get carried off the course on a stretcher). I walk on the treadmill and outside nearly every day and take a small group strength training class once or twice a week. I even tried a pull up the other day for the first time!

Whether you’re in perfect health or fighting for your life this year, find something about your body or your health to celebrate and be genuinely grateful for. It might feel great to remind yourself about all the things you can do — like still being able to remember where you put your keys and your reading glasses!

Work your way out to family and friends

I am eternally grateful for my children.

It goes without saying that when they’re happy, I’m happy. The opposite is true as well. But I’m also thankful to have raised resilient kids, so when they go through a rough patch, they know how to pull themselves out and I feel confident that they will be okay.

Or start small. You can start with little things. For example:

I’m grateful there was enough soy milk for my oatmeal this morning, so I didn’t have to run to the store.
I’m grateful I remembered to plug in my laptop last night and I could work in bed this morning and didn’t have to sit at my desk.

We All Need a Reminder to be Grateful

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always practice what I preach, and that I sometimes need to remind myself to stop focusing on what’s missing and appreciate what’s right in front of me.

It certainly would be easier to focus on all the things I don’t have, the things I want, the things that seem to come more easily to others (and there are plenty in those categories).

But that doesn’t do me any good.

When I find myself spinning and spiraling down, I stop myself. I take a deep breath. Then I focus on what I do have. And remind myself to be grateful. And you should too.